Have you thought about Nigeria as a huge comic project with about 170million comedians churning out comic materials as the rib-tickling god aids their craze?

About the characters in this comic project; some are paid more, some get peanuts, some are paid, but don’t show up or deliver, some do free shows hoping to blow one day, and some get only auditions. In this mirthful project, there are cliques; the rich comedians, the middle-class comedians and those still jumping bikes to go to shows.

As their madness goes viral, even the world is doing a LMAO on this republic.

May 29, 2015, Grand Comedian, M. Bubu said, “My jokes belong to everybody. My jokes belong to nobody.” For a comedian, that sounded slightly serious. Months down the line, M. Bubu’s jokes have been skewed. Thus far, only some subscribers, the APC, have been entertained, mostly. Others, the PDP, feel his jokes are too expensive, thereby clamoring for a more creative comedian. They claim not to like his body language.

I think, for them, M. Bubu’s body language is swinging too fast for a man of seventy-three.

Speaking of wanting a more creative comedian, bitter subscribers to M. Bubu’s jokes were allegedly planning to re-subscribe to an all-of-a-sudden popular comedian, Suki, the sharing and philanthropic god, one in whose bosom, there’s no economic meltdown. Suki, despite being alleged to be one who gets paid for shows, but don’t deliver, is loved and has a sizable fan base. Unfortunately, M. Bubu’s jokes are presently scattering the ribs of Suki. This might not be a prophecy, but the latter might be spending a long time in one of the sleek venues hosting M. Bubu’s shows.

And about the joke of foretelling , prophecies, which is customary at the beginning of a new year for a set of Nigerian comedians, TB Josh, the Afroman, in one of his new year jokes said, “the frequencies of terrorist attacks in the continent would increase.” But, sometime in 2015, a part of the venue that hosts Afroman’s shows suffered a collapse which he credited to terrorists – just like that!

Should we expect increased collapse, this year?

Help with clarity, mbok, please!

The children of the white man’s god are having difficulties unknotting that very joke.

Lest I forget an issue that’s knotty, it’s a shame, I think, for the sharing, philanthropic god, Suki, to play “small masquerade” with his jokes before a big one, M. Bubu, by calling out names of other comedians this god has deemed fit to bless with his stolen jokes. Or how do I explain the sudden comic cry by Oli Metoo, HC Ray Dopemu, Nduka Obaino and other comedians involved in the show?

Anyway, leave cry for pipo wey get water for eyes!

Reports even had it that comedian Oli Metoo who had performed for days at one of the venues that plays host to M. Bubu’s shows, had refused eating or drinking. Oli’s performance should be appreciated.

But then, who hunger strike don epp?

Oli’s family went ahead to put out a most interesting joke when they requested the EFCC not to forcefully make their son perform, in a statement which had at its tail end, Oli’s chieftaincy title, Ugochidebelu Nnewi!

Perhaps, the title hastened his performance in the show hosted by EFCC.

Oh! Chieftaincy title! Yes! That draws my attention to “Mr. Commonsense Revolution,” whose real name is Senator BB. News had it that a compilation of his many 140-character jokes is ready. Rib cracking, it will be, plus I hope hustling comedians can afford a copy, to aid their climb in the ladder of the business of comedy. It was also reported that the book launch is scheduled for an expensive hotel.

For an accomplished comedian, self-acclaimed to love the hustling comedians, how can they, hustling comedians, access the hotel? Who go pay?

Well, Senator BB, after much deliberations with his being, used his commonsense tool by giving out hundred invites to those who subscribe to his jokes, on one of his social media platforms.

Some of the books, if you ask me, should also be given away for free or subsidized to help increase BB’s common sense jokes subscribers. No?

Guess who’s interested in increasing her fan base? The Anambra Central woman…

“It’s better now to join the APC.” – Mrs. Urch Ekwu

APC, as earlier stated, consists of comedians whose jokes are selling like pirated CDs in Lagos traffic. They are the happening ones, the reason every comedian whose career is faced with plenty tollgates wants to be in the APC. As for Madam Urch, every single comedy contest was a hit, from the House of Representatives to the Senate (slight k-leg). Unfortunately, the comic contest, the re-run, didn’t favour her. Mrs. Urch, sadly, can’t tell her fellow contestants and critics, FUCK DA SHIT!!!

To sum it up, what some Nigeria’s political comedians see – pools of stolen jokes – some fans at the top of masts might not see such.

In the spirit and fear of being silenced in the comedy business by those that now occupy the Aso rock, seat of comedy, Mr. JimJim Obodo, former ministerial comedian in the federal republic of jokes, has moved from one comedy club, the PDP, to another, the APC. The following jokes were credited to him;

“I must condemn our former comedy club, the PDP – I know we had problems.

“I told our former comedy club chairman, how come did we allow five states governing comedians to leave the club?

“I’m not looking for a job; I’m cracking jokes because I want peace.

“I want our fans to be part of the federal comic government at the center.”

Mr. JimJim, I know you aren’t looking for a job, if your new comedy club pens your name down for a show, you no go perform? I hear!

Welcome to the republic of jokes where every individual is a comedian, a republic where jokes, like oceans, don’t run dry, where any comedian fit to blow, and like the words of Chinua Achebe’s “A Man Of The People,” the surprises and contrasts in our great country are simply inexhaustible.


Like my thoughts? Follow: @agbarapaschal

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