HOW TO DEFECT FROM PDP TO APC (OR BE A FRIEND OF THE RULING PARTY)

HOW TO DEFECT FROM PDP TO APC (OR BE A FRIEND OF THE RULING PARTY)

Prior to the elections that took place a few months ago, mixed reactions characterized the whole process. Even post the elections. Allegations & counter-allegations, hate speeches, clash of party supporters, rigging etc., marred the elections. Lives were lost, people went missing like day old chicks, questions were/are being asked & answers haven’t been convincing.

The elections came, people voted, people rigged, the results were announced, losers conceded, winners basked in the euphoria, stalwarts were cock-a-hoop, others cried – even those who did so out of not collecting the little monies promised before their candidates lost – and the list of reactions seem inexhaustible.

But hey! That’s not why I’m taking the pain to write this.

Don’t lose me.

It’s still how to defect from the PDP to the APC or be an ally of the ruling party.

Any of the options below works.

1. TEAR THE PDP MEMBERSHIP CARD.

Tear the membership card of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) publicly, if you have got guts, and come up with a reason, genuine or not. We witnessed estranged PDP stalwarts, the weeks leading up to the election and afterwards, play this “tearing” game. Perhaps, that was a way for the vexed PDP members to prove to those in the APC – All Progressive’s Congress – that their plans to move in was authentic. A certain Abdullahi Babangida Muhammad, tried this approach, cited dissatisfaction with how the country was being run and strolled into APC. Having lost hold of Benue State, 3000 PDP members in the state tore their membership cards and defected to the APC, the ruling party.

2. CAN’T TEAR, BUT DESIRE TO?

If you’re liver-less and can’t tear, but desire to, give the PDP membership card to someone else to do so on your behalf, publicly, and declare “Elder Statesman” position afterwards.

Former C-in-C – Olusegun Obasanjo tried this and eureka! He directed Mr. Oladunjoye, a ward leader, to do the tearing on his behalf. Ever since, Obasanjo has been rolling freely with the big dudes (President Buhari & Co) in and out of Aso Villa like his Ota farm was opposite the villa. It’s a model, if you ask me.

3. SIMPLY RETURN THE CARDS AND LEAVE.

You can’t tear your membership card and maybe you don’t have a whipping boy to help you out with tearing the card, simply return the membership card and leave as an aggrieved PDP member to the APC. But don’t do so without an excuse. Raise an excuse from death and let the media know about your new move.

Governor of Sokoto state, Aminu Tambuwal, prior to the elections, did the same and it worked. Chief Olusola Oke, a one-time PDP governorship candidate in Ondo state, did same post the elections by “simply leaving” for the APC. He did it stylishly by defecting alongside over 10,000 PDP members who had been captured with the gospel of change. In Katsina state, tired PDP members returned their membership cards in sack bags, albeit they didn’t tear the cards.

4. TRY PAYING A VISIT.

Pay an unusual visit to the top ranked members of APC in solidarity and be caught on camera unknowingly. Call it “famzing” but e dey work die – it works well.

Camera caught Ifeanyi Ararume, who unsuccessfully ran for Imo governor against Governor Rochas Okorocha years ago, visiting Governor Rochas Okorocha (present governor of Imo State and a member of the APC) at his residence to congratulate him. Businessmen – Femi Otedola, Aliko Dangote, Wale Tinubu – visited President Buhari to congratulate him on winning the presidential election. That’s the idea.

Rub shoulders with who has power, else, you fit no see contract at all.

5. CONGRATULATORY MESSAGE.

Send/publish a congratulatory message to the APC and the President-elect. Perhaps, a speech too. That’s the height. Sounds like an open confession of a chick crushing on a guy. Or a guy proposing to a chick right before her family members. Or that could be fear of the unthinkable.

Governor of Ekiti State, Ayo Fayose, Femi Fani-Kayode and others followed this route. That’s like saying, I’m not for APC but you “guys” aren’t bad either. We could work something out.

6. CONCEDE VICTORY.

This aspect ehn!

Conceding victory became the fashionable thing in Nigeria’s politics in 2015. Yes, the act is nouveau albeit noble too. And this act is like saying, “you don win, congrats! But we still be pals. No forget me. No probe me. I’m open to any offer.” Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, Jimi Agbaje, Alao-Akala, Teslim Folarin etc., belong to this stratum.

Now, that’s how to leave the PDP camp to the APC without troubles or be friends with the ruling party. This way, you are assured of not only being in the corridors of power, but stroll into the power house undisturbed.

Lastly, if you’re just a PDP member by mouth, simply use the same mouth to tell those you discuss politics with that you have seen the light without sounding like a political adulterer/adulteress.

 

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